365 Conversation Starters for Couples
One of the most important things we can do to support lifelong loving relationships is continue to learn about one another.
When we start out in relationships we are fascinated. We stay up all night talking. We can’t wait to learn more about each other.
Over time we stop being curious. We start thinking we know everything about our partner. Which is impossible- every one of us grows every single day.
But when we stop being curious and start making assumptions about the people in our lives we start running into problems. We stop letting our spouse or sweetheart surprise us and things get a little blah. It’s not uncommon to end up in a conversation rut in a long term partnership.
The way back to connected fascination and desire is to start being open to learning. One of the key ingredients in a healthy lifelong relationship is building what Dr. John Gottman calls a Love Map. A strong Love Maps means knowing the little things about your partner’s life.
Having a solid map creates a strong foundation for your partnership and intimacy. Having a richly detailed Love Map – an intimate familiarity with each other’s world – is a cornerstone of an emotionally intelligent partnership.
Strong couples make and keep lots of room in their minds for their relationship. They know each other’s goals, worries, hopes and dreams. Strong couples remember the major events in each other’s histories, and they keep updating their information as the facts and feelings of their spouse or partner’s world change.
They stay open for new developments, and changes (they might even help lovingly foster new growth in one another). This knowledge of one another builds love and fortifies your connection to weather marital storms.
A solid awareness and knowledge of one another has been clinically proven to help couples cope with stressful events and conflict.
Romantic partners who have built in habits of keeping up to date are aware of what each other are feeling and thinking and as a result aren’t as thrown off course by stress in each other’s lives. If you don’t start off with a deep knowledge of each other, it’s easy for your relationship to get lost amid the challenges and stressors that come with time.
Use the question lists below to strengthen your Love Map tonight!
365 Conversation Topics for Date Nights (and Beyond)
More Questions for Healthy Relationships: