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Three Ways to Deal with Negative Thoughts

negative thinking

One of the most important steps toward creating self-compassion and building a happier life, is to get over the negative thoughts we all have.  These negative thoughts say things like: 

You're too fat

Nobody likes you

You are a total screw up

Everyone has these.  Part of learning to live with self-compassion is learning to deal with negative thoughts.

There are three main fields of thought in psychology about negative thoughts.  All of them are valid, and in sessions, I work with clients to choose the approach that fits best for them.  My new favorite podcast, Invisibilia, covered these three perspectives really well in a recent episode.  You can listen to it here.

Read through them and try them the next time negative thoughts pay you a visit.  

Old- School Freudian


This school of thought says your thoughts are related to some experience in your life and are important or meaningful.  This school of thought believes your thoughts are something to learn from.  If you take them at face value you might be able to learn something about yourself.  

How to Set Boundaries Without Being Mean

SET BOUNDARIES

Learning how to set boundaries


Most of us never learn to say no. We worry that saying no will seem rude, inconsiderate, or mean. We think if we say no we risk belonging, community, friendship, and love.

The truth is, healthy boundaries actually increase trust in relationships. Being able to speak, hear, and respect boundaries creates a deeper level of intimacy in relationships, whether friends, coworkers, or family members.

Worrying about and avoiding setting boundaries causes undue stress on most relationships. Try the tips below to start setting boundaries in caring ways to deepen intimacy and increase trust in your relationships.

It is possible to set boundaries without being mean.

Here are seven ways to assert some boundaries with love:




  1. No is a complete sentence




Practice saying no without explaining or justifying yourself. Allow yourself to say no more often and increase your capacity to sit with the discomfort that might arise. Your discomfort will pass- and so will anyone else’s.

reconnect in 2015

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