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Counseling

Couples Coaching

Annual Renewal

Conversation Starters: Questions About Spring

 

conversation starters

 

 

One of the most important things we can do in a couple is continue to learn about one another.

 

When we stop being curious and start making assumptions about the people in our lives we start running into problems.  Take some time over the weekend to get to know this person in a new way by asking these ten simple questions.

 

Even if you think you know their answer, ask and see if their response has changed or grown since you last checked in.

 

Accept their answers with warmth (the goal is to create openness for more sharing- not to be right about knowing everything).  It might be exciting to learn how your partner has changed over time.  These work well on a first date too!

 

Ask your sweetie:

When You Hear 'I'm Fine' And You Know You're In Trouble

get expectations met

 

This week's guest blog is from Karen J. Helfrich, LCSW-C, ... Learn more about her here.

 

Recently, a student asked me, “Why, when a girl is angry at you, does she say she’s fine when really, she’s angry?”  I love this question.  It ultimately speaks to our deep longing for connection with each other and the pain involved when there is a connection challenge, often in the form of unmet expectations.

Any couple is likely to stumble when expectations go unmet.   We are likely to feel angry, terribly wronged, and even enraged.  One of the other students replied, “Because he should know why I’m angry!”  Yes!  I love this!

It can feel very vulnerable to explain why we are angry.  We are angry because we are hurt.  What if the other person still does not understand?  This adds injury to insult.  Anger feels safer.  How can couples navigate this difficult terrain?

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